Friday, 16 October 2015

Love or Money?

In contrast to my previous blog and at the risk of sounding schizophrenic, today I first want to say that no matter what you do in life, you'll always be in the perfect place for you.

You can't be anything other than perfect. Ever.

Yesterday I blogged about sharing your personal development journey with another person. How if you don't, you won't change as much as you hope. But the truth is, the opposite is also true.

Do absolutely nothing, and you'll still end up in the perfect place anyways. Because even when things are completely out of control, the bigger truth is that it's all exactly right for you.

Even when it doesn't look or seem that way.

Action plays a role in our experience for sure, so yes, take action towards anything that takes your fancy, but rather than force that action, if we can come to a place where we simply flow with the easiest option, then our lives will unfold anyway and we'll be able to enjoy it, even when it "stinks".

And that same theory applies to the concept of Love and Money.

Can we believe in both?

For the past few days I've been in a panic about money. Nothing new there. I've spent my entire life struggling with even the concept of money. When I was 16, my parents and siblings were each investing in an insurance plan that paid them out after 10 years (or something). The insurance dude would turn up at our house every second Thursday (or whatever it was), and every time he'd ask me "When are you going to sign up Hannah?" I would shrug him off and go to my room and get lost in music. My sanctuary.

One day, I answered the door to the insurance guy and he flat out asked me: "Hannah, if you don't put money aside now, what are you going to live on in the future?"

My answer?

"I'll live on Love."

It astounds me that I said that back then, and as much as we do live on Love because we are Love, money is the currency of the world and it definitely has a place. But the point I'm making here is that I have never understood money.

The very idea of handing over cash and coins in exchange for something has always baffled me. Why can't we all just give and receive and not worry about money? I've often thought to myself. What is this craziness that we all get so wound up about? Why can't we all just live in peace and love each other?

You might think this is the idealistic thoughts of a teenager, but I still have those thoughts today.

I can see that having money can be a good thing. I get it. Travelling is a big part of my life and I require money to pay for my flights and accommodation. I also spend a lot of money on personal growth: courses, books, coaching, it all costs money.

But what I have recognised in the past few days is that all the while I was spinning my Love Story, underneath it I was unconsciously resisting money because I saw it as "bad".

When you peel back my overriding philosophy that Love Is All There Is, I was also kidding myself into thinking I didn't also buy into the global money story. I did, but I had hidden that belief because it didn't match the identity I'd created for myself that said Love is all there is.

I had been deceiving myself for years!

A couple nights ago, I woke up at 2am and spent about 2 hours writing down some of my money beliefs. It was certainly eye opening. Some of the notions I'd held about money were so incongruent with my Everything Is Love beliefs that it was laughable. I had given money SO much weight and yet I thought I was viewing it as insignificant.

Truth is, my up-until-then unconscious beliefs about money were the complete opposite of insignificant.

Money was the biggest thing there was.

Money had SO much weight that I couldn't handle it. Yes, my conscious mind told me it was less significant to me than Love, but my unconscious mind had created one helluva story that meant no matter how much I sang my Love Song, money was there, lurking in the corner wearing a dirty overcoat, ready to flash at any time.

And now I can see that.

And because I can see it, I can now change it.

Until we shine a light on the very thing we're avoiding – which is often so unconscious to us that it's impossible to shine a light on it without the awareness of how to become aware of our hidden beliefs – we're basically living a lie.

I know, that's a lot to take in… read it again.

But the crazy thing about our unconscious beliefs is that even if we don't know how to shine a light on them, our experience is perfect anyways.

So, in complete contrast to what I wrote yesterday: even if you do absolutely nothing to further your growth and expand your consciousness, it will happen anyways.

Even if you believe in Love and think money is just a joke, you will realise the truth for you anyways.

Even if you think money is what makes the world go around and Love is a futile concept, you'll realise the truth for you at some point anyways.

Unless you don't.

Which is the even bigger head f*ck of this whole experience.

So, what am I saying here? Essentially I'm saying Do Whatever You Want. Do whatever feels right for you in this moment and if that feeling changes in the next moment, change what you're doing to match your new thought or feelings.

It doesn't matter.

I'm letting go of a big story I've held about money for my entire life, but did I need coaching or all those other courses to get me here? No. Would I be where I am today if I'd done nothing other than eat, sleep and work my whole life? Who knows. Point is, it doesn't matter.

I chose the path I've chosen and I love it. It feels right for me. Until or unless it doesn't.

Once we let go of our attachment to an outcome, nothing matters anymore. And that's where joy really comes in. Have money, don't have money, meet your soulmate, don't meet your soulmate, hire a coach, don't hire a coach, it doesn't matter.

Just follow your own path in the moment: follow the path of least resistance and just let the Love or money flow in.

Or not.

Whatever.

h xx