Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Paradise Awaits

If you've read my last two blogs Growing Pains and Love or Money? you'll be familiar with the fact that I have been through a major financial breakdown in the last two weeks.

The breakdown was really a breakthrough in my ability to see reality vs the fantasy I'd created around money. Namely, that I could carry on doing exactly what I'd been doing for the past 10 years and somehow get a completely different result.

Yuh, I know, right…

So, for the past two weeks I've been collecting my new thoughts and cementing them with new actions and behaviours. Firstly, I had to meet myself where I was at. By that I mean I had to see the truth – that my current way of operating was never going to get me into the 6.5 million dollar house on the Sunshine Coast that I have in my vision box.

It's a house that I've seen in my meditations for over 8 years. I didn't even know it really existed until I found it while doing some research about 2 months ago.

Yep, really.

So, let's talk about the Law of Attraction for a minute because that's really what this blog is all about.

The Law of Attraction (LOA) is a well documented phenomena. Most of us on the spiritual path have heard of it and probably tried it – and hopefully had some success.

But, I'll bet on that $6.5m house that even those of you who consider yourselves to be conscious and/or "awake" or spiritual, have equally suffered from a sense of WTF when it comes to the LOA.

WTF is this LOA that only seems to work sometimes and not others? Surely by aligning our thoughts with what we want, we should be able to manifest it, right?

Even if it's as big as a $6.5million dollar house on Sunshine Beach.

Because if you've been reading or listening to the same material as I have, the LOA does not hold one thing bigger or smaller than another. Correct?

Well, after seeing my reality about money in an entirely new way since my breakdown/breakthrough over the past two weeks, I'm going to add what I can now understand about LOA and that is that there is a necessary requirement that I was previously overlooking.

So, to use my example:

1. I asked the Universe to align me with the $6.5m house on the Sunshine Coast.
2. I KNOW I'm going to live in that house because I've seen it in my meditations for over 8 years, and whenever I've envisioned things before I actually saw them in real life, they have ALWAYS come into my reality. Alignment = check.
3. So, feeling like I'm completely in alignment (see above), I firmly believe that I'm on the right path to manifesting said house.
4. And I'm right.
5. But, in order to manifest that house, I need to clear out any unsupporting beliefs and thoughts that are currently preventing that house from being in my immediate reality.
6. In comes MAJOR BREAKDOWN #1.
7. In order to be in purest alignment with that house, I need to change. The biggest change is that I need to meet my reality head on. And that means I can no longer continue operating the way I've been operating for the past 10 years, because if I do that, there's not a hope in hell that I'll move into that house in this lifetime. No matter how creative I am with the fantasy of that.
9. I have to change the way I'm doing things.
10. In order to get into a more pure alignment I need to breakdown my fantasy so I can breakthrough to reality where I can create an entirely new reality that is in far greater alignment with what I want than I currently realise. In fact, I must entirely let go of my belief that I know how to manifest that house and hand that job over to the Universe. Which doesn't mean I completely take my hands off the wheel, sign on to social services and keep fantasising. It means I must learn to TRUST that I am being guided in a new direction that may (or may not) seem congruent to my desire of buying that house, but that is MOST LIKELY to be leading me to an exact match to the feeling I want when I envision myself in that house, which is basically that I feel happy, safe, successful and financially secure.

Are you still with me?

In short: all the while we are clinging to our fantasy version of life, whether that be around money, love or owning a house on the Sunshine Coast, we are completely UNABLE to manifest the very thing we want.

Until we meet reality we are unknowingly keeping ourselves from the very thing we are continually saying we want.

For 10 years I've either been working part time as a freelance writer/editor or I've been working full time setting up a new business, be it a healing or coaching practice or an online business. So I've got 10 years of cold hard evidence that what I've been doing for that time does NOT align with me manifesting a $6.5 million house in Queensland.

And yet I have insisted on believing otherwise.

I have refused to see the truth in the situation. So on the one hand I've been utilising my amazing skills and talents as a writer or healer and I've been motivated and driven enough to set up buinesses and had some success from that, but have I come anywhere near to moving into that house?

Not even!

And yet, I've continued believing that if I just keep doing what I'm doing for a bit longer (another 10 years??) then SURELY that house will be mine.

Well, here's the rub. Through questioning my thoughts in a whole new way during the past two weeks I was able to hear the Universe saying "Sweetie, we really, really want to give you that house, (and anything else you desire), but you're so busy sticking your head in the sand, that we're finding it impossible to get it to you."

Yes. I was so busy believing my own fantasy that I was completely (and unconsciously) ignoring the reality (which btw is always in alignment with the Universe), which meant I was STUCK.

And so STUCK is what I was getting back via the LOA.

You see?

The turnaround for me was seeing the reality: I needed to change the way I was looking at my situation. And I could only do that by first accepting the truth. That what I was doing wasn't working.

Humble pie alright! I call it more of a humble crumble because in order to see the truth my ego had to crumble to nothing so that I could be clear enough to see a new way.

And now, amazingly, that's where I'm at.

From that place of truth I've been able to create a new agenda for my work life. And although I'm not going to tell you exactly what showed up (only because I don't want to mention the roles I've just applied for), I can tell you that the situations that have landed in my lap just 24 hours after creating my new agenda are INCREDIBLE opportunities that I would not have been able to see if I was still stuck in my fantasy.

So you see the LOA does work.

I could already see that because I'd manifested outstanding results in both love and money in the past 12 months alone. And yet, I was unknowingly limiting even bigger results because I was staying in a place where good stuff happened, but HUGE stuff was being blocked (by me).

So, if you're finding yourself stuck in a world where the LOA only works for you sometimes even when you KNOW it works and can FEEL the thing you desire, I invite you to enter into a new level of self enquiry. I used Byron Katie's four questions which you can find in her book Loving What Is, but there are numerous ways to deliver yourself from your own prison, so I'll let you find your own way on that one.

Suffice to say, after spending two weeks in one of the shittiest self-inflicted breakdowns I've ever had, I can absolutely attest to the fact that if you're willing to question yourself, especially on the things you really think you know for sure, then on the other side of that enquiry you might just find an overwhelming paradise that you couldn't see before.

And if you do, then I welcome you to a whole new world and an incredible new level of trust in the Universe and the Law of Attraction.

Choose Love xxx

Friday, 16 October 2015

Love or Money?

In contrast to my previous blog and at the risk of sounding schizophrenic, today I first want to say that no matter what you do in life, you'll always be in the perfect place for you.

You can't be anything other than perfect. Ever.

Yesterday I blogged about sharing your personal development journey with another person. How if you don't, you won't change as much as you hope. But the truth is, the opposite is also true.

Do absolutely nothing, and you'll still end up in the perfect place anyways. Because even when things are completely out of control, the bigger truth is that it's all exactly right for you.

Even when it doesn't look or seem that way.

Action plays a role in our experience for sure, so yes, take action towards anything that takes your fancy, but rather than force that action, if we can come to a place where we simply flow with the easiest option, then our lives will unfold anyway and we'll be able to enjoy it, even when it "stinks".

And that same theory applies to the concept of Love and Money.

Can we believe in both?

For the past few days I've been in a panic about money. Nothing new there. I've spent my entire life struggling with even the concept of money. When I was 16, my parents and siblings were each investing in an insurance plan that paid them out after 10 years (or something). The insurance dude would turn up at our house every second Thursday (or whatever it was), and every time he'd ask me "When are you going to sign up Hannah?" I would shrug him off and go to my room and get lost in music. My sanctuary.

One day, I answered the door to the insurance guy and he flat out asked me: "Hannah, if you don't put money aside now, what are you going to live on in the future?"

My answer?

"I'll live on Love."

It astounds me that I said that back then, and as much as we do live on Love because we are Love, money is the currency of the world and it definitely has a place. But the point I'm making here is that I have never understood money.

The very idea of handing over cash and coins in exchange for something has always baffled me. Why can't we all just give and receive and not worry about money? I've often thought to myself. What is this craziness that we all get so wound up about? Why can't we all just live in peace and love each other?

You might think this is the idealistic thoughts of a teenager, but I still have those thoughts today.

I can see that having money can be a good thing. I get it. Travelling is a big part of my life and I require money to pay for my flights and accommodation. I also spend a lot of money on personal growth: courses, books, coaching, it all costs money.

But what I have recognised in the past few days is that all the while I was spinning my Love Story, underneath it I was unconsciously resisting money because I saw it as "bad".

When you peel back my overriding philosophy that Love Is All There Is, I was also kidding myself into thinking I didn't also buy into the global money story. I did, but I had hidden that belief because it didn't match the identity I'd created for myself that said Love is all there is.

I had been deceiving myself for years!

A couple nights ago, I woke up at 2am and spent about 2 hours writing down some of my money beliefs. It was certainly eye opening. Some of the notions I'd held about money were so incongruent with my Everything Is Love beliefs that it was laughable. I had given money SO much weight and yet I thought I was viewing it as insignificant.

Truth is, my up-until-then unconscious beliefs about money were the complete opposite of insignificant.

Money was the biggest thing there was.

Money had SO much weight that I couldn't handle it. Yes, my conscious mind told me it was less significant to me than Love, but my unconscious mind had created one helluva story that meant no matter how much I sang my Love Song, money was there, lurking in the corner wearing a dirty overcoat, ready to flash at any time.

And now I can see that.

And because I can see it, I can now change it.

Until we shine a light on the very thing we're avoiding – which is often so unconscious to us that it's impossible to shine a light on it without the awareness of how to become aware of our hidden beliefs – we're basically living a lie.

I know, that's a lot to take in… read it again.

But the crazy thing about our unconscious beliefs is that even if we don't know how to shine a light on them, our experience is perfect anyways.

So, in complete contrast to what I wrote yesterday: even if you do absolutely nothing to further your growth and expand your consciousness, it will happen anyways.

Even if you believe in Love and think money is just a joke, you will realise the truth for you anyways.

Even if you think money is what makes the world go around and Love is a futile concept, you'll realise the truth for you at some point anyways.

Unless you don't.

Which is the even bigger head f*ck of this whole experience.

So, what am I saying here? Essentially I'm saying Do Whatever You Want. Do whatever feels right for you in this moment and if that feeling changes in the next moment, change what you're doing to match your new thought or feelings.

It doesn't matter.

I'm letting go of a big story I've held about money for my entire life, but did I need coaching or all those other courses to get me here? No. Would I be where I am today if I'd done nothing other than eat, sleep and work my whole life? Who knows. Point is, it doesn't matter.

I chose the path I've chosen and I love it. It feels right for me. Until or unless it doesn't.

Once we let go of our attachment to an outcome, nothing matters anymore. And that's where joy really comes in. Have money, don't have money, meet your soulmate, don't meet your soulmate, hire a coach, don't hire a coach, it doesn't matter.

Just follow your own path in the moment: follow the path of least resistance and just let the Love or money flow in.

Or not.


h xx

Thursday, 15 October 2015

Growing Pains

OK, I'm gonna come clean.

I am completely f*cked.

A couple months ago I waved goodbye to a 22 year career as a magazine writer and editor. I publicly announced it on Facebook because I absolutely knew that being a coach is my life's purpose and at the time, the money was rolling in, I had a healthy repertoire of clients and life was buzzing along.

The prior 6 months that I'd spent working with my own coach had lifted me to incredible new heights both work/money and love-wise. I was in a space I'd never been in before. So I did the obvious thing and hired my coach for another 6 months, then I joined a coaching group where more amazing lessons came thick and fast on a daily basis. And it was even more amazing!

But then, all of a sudden, the Shit Hit The Fan.

And not only did the shit hit the fan, but my emotional faeces sprayed long and wide and appears to be on a mission to take me down.

My insides feel like they're covered with shit. My belief system has turned into a sewerage pit, I can barely hold a cup with my right hand, my back feels like it might crumble if I make any sudden moves, and my bank account, well, that's the best part. I can't even pay my rent.

Awesome, huh!

And why would I write about this you might ask? Because it's the truth. So, here goes…

If I were to look at my current situation in a linear way (what I call Mass Majority thinking), then I would seriously be fucked. The straight lines that our current operating system has been built on say that I should go get a job. That I should be more sensible. That I should spend less money on travel and save more for my future. That I should be married with kids. That I should swear less. That I should wear shoes. That I'm too old to sit on the floor, I should sit in a chair.

You get the picture.

But I'm not doing any of that. I live by my own rules. My mum says I'm the butterfly in the family (a nice way of saying I fly by the seat of my pants). But there are consequences of living this way and they are huge.

The consequences of living what I call a Curly Existence mean I don't have social norms to fall back on. I don't have a savings account or a day job to prop me up when life gets tough. When it rains, I get wet. When the money runs out, I don't eat. Or, I get creative.

Before I go completely off point here, what I'm trying to say is that what's really happening for me at the moment is Personal Growth.

And growth hurts.

In fact the more you grow and the quicker you grow the more it hurts. Think of a baby. We wonder why they're crying sometimes, but think about it, their bodies and awareness are growing rapidly every day. No wonder they bawl at "nothing", huh!

And that's where coaching comes in. At the point of growth.

Before I became a coach I thought coaching was about helping people feel better about their lives. I thought it was about motivating them to feel like they can reach their goals (even if they don't). And I thought Wow, I'll be really good at that, that's what I do anyway.

And that's absolutely where I started. Both as a coach and as a client of my coach. I felt all the nice stuff that was missing for me. More money, deeper love, being paid to support people and having someone who was there to support me no matter what.

But as I travelled deeper into my journey that path opened up so wide that I no longer had the right vehicle to go any further. My emotional capacity was no longer in alignment with where I am heading. My beliefs no longer held enough weight to keep me where I'd been for the past 44 years.

And so I needed to change. To grow.

But it fucking hurts.

There's a tendency for us to run away from pain. Who wants to feel pain? Makes perfect sense to shut that shit down, turn around and go back to the "safe zone". "Normality". What we already know.

But if you really want to change your life, then you gotta grow. And it will hurt. No exception.

Anyone who is truly committed to change will experience a version of what I'm going through. In order to break my old habits I gotta learn new ones. But until I learn them there's a transition. There's a whole lotta I Don't Knows to navigate.

And that's where many of us stop.

We're halted in our tracks when we get to I Don't Know. We want to hire a coach but we can't afford it. We want to find our soulmate but we don't want to open up first. We want more money but we're not willing to have less first.

But as long as we sit on the current side of change there's only one truth. We Don't Change.

Well, we do a bit, but ultimately, we become another member of the herd. Society says don't take risks, play it safe, save for a rainy day, play by the rules, do your homework…

But I say Fuck That.

Live Your Life. Take that risk. Spend that money. Make your own rules and never ever do your homework unless YOU want to.

If you do that you'll be scared sometimes. You'll have less money than you think you should sometimes. You'll have friends who will look at you like you're a lunatic sometimes.

But you'll be free. And on the other side of that pain you'll find a new life. A paradise that you can call your own. And your friends and colleagues will wish they had the freedom you'd created. Because as much as it can feel nice to have money, a wife or husband and a steady job, without the freedom to be yourself you have nothing.

All that other stuff can be taken away from you. At a moment's notice. And you might never see it coming.

As a coach, I work with people to find themselves. I no longer motivate people to feel good about themselves. I encourage them to feel their pain. I even take them there. I push my clients' buttons to the point that they say they hate me.

And I'm glad when they do.

Because it means they're really growing. When they give me that look that says "Really? You want me to tell you what I don't want you to know about me?" Then I know we're getting somewhere.

And the reason I know that is because that's my journey too. I don't have all the answers. I have no idea what it is you really want, and from what I see in my clients neither do they. But I do know that if you don't go to that dark and shitty place that you've been avoiding your whole life then you might have a nice life, (and I hope you will), but you'll never become the most brilliant version of you that you can really be.

Because there will always be a fear lurking in your unconscious that is urging you to shine. Or a fear that the money will run out, or your partner will run out.

Going to that new place is fucking hard and it fucking hurts, but on the other side of the pain is a life that shines brighter than any diamond. And that's where I'm heading. I'm done playing small. I'm done pretending to Be Me while I run a tape that says I can only do that for a while. Until the money runs out and I go back to a day job again.

But you know what, this time I'm sticking it out. This time I'm gonna step right into the septic tank and stick my face in it. I'm gonna ignore the "reality" and spread that shit all over my body. I'm gonna feel the pain. Inhale it. Smother myself in it until I stink.

And then?

Well, I don't know what then.

I've never done this before. I've always stopped at this point. The point where it gets sooooo tough and sooooo scary that I revert back to "reality".

But not any more. And never again. I don't know what's on the other side but I'm willing to find out. Because if I don't then I'll never know. Which means I'm buying into the story that I've been saying I don't agree with for my whole life.

So today I'm willing to hurt. I'm willing to Have No Idea what's on the other side. And I'm willing to take the biggest chance I've ever taken. To stay. To feel the pain that's taking over my body. To crack the "reality" that I've bought into even when it looked like I wasn't.

Are you willing to do that too?

If you are, then I'm here, not just as a coach, but as a fellow human being who's doing it too. I'll help you. I'll sit by you while you weep in fear at what's to come. I won't know the answers but I'll support you.

If you know deep down that there's a greater version of you that wants to be set free, then talk to me. Come show me your pain. I promise I won't judge. I'll simply guide you through it.

And I might not be the right coach for you. And coaching isn't the only answer. But choosing to stay the same is definitely not going to set you free. And knowing that it's scary and knowing you  haven't been able to do it on your own, then think about it. Are you living your best life? Are you willing to move through I Don't Know to have what it is you REALLY want?

If you are then I sincerely encourage you to find someone who can travel that journey with you. To take the risk that feels too big. And if not, then that's your choice too, I respect that. Kind of.

But I know there's more that's available to you. I just know it.

Meantime, I'll see you on the other side.

Choose love xx